i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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