So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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