So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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