What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
