what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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