I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
