am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
