It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
