Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
