tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
