So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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