He is such a slut. More and more my type.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
