Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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