Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
