remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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