your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
