My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
