I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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