At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
