You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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