he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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