Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
