if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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