I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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