I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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