But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
