Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
