im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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