I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
