If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
vagina is talking i cant
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
