Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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