So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
