That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Acid is not a monday night drug
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
