You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
