I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
