so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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