dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have fence marks all over my body
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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