Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
