even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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