I wish i was in the wii world.
handjob tips. give me some.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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