I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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