The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
