I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
