Sry I called you an 8
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
