Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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