no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize