Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
