College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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