i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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