is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize