Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
