she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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