i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
