Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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