I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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