bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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