I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
