i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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