he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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