8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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