i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize