What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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