if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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