And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
