bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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